Featured, Food

New Hong Kong: Fact or Fiction

It may not carry the same warm memories as Mary Ann’s, but New Hong Kong is a staple of BC life. If you haven’t ordered New Hong Kong after stumbling back to your place of residence after two in the morning, you’re not really living the BC life the way it was meant to be lived. I’m sure the massive portions delivered in un-humanlike speed bring a few questions to the table. The Rock is here to debunk some of the myths of New Hong Kong.

I bet you wondered where this mystical place was

 

1. Ordering New Hong Kong alone is acceptable

 

Fiction

 

You should never order New Hong Kong alone. The portion sizes are so large that they could feed a cave troll. You need to approach New Hong Kong as a team or your stomach is going to hate you in the morning, though it probably will anyway. Splitting New Hong Kong will prevent you from overdosing on yellow rice and you still get a large amount of food for six or seven bucks depending on how nice you are to the deliveryman.

 

2. You can choose between a spring roll or a can of soda

 

Fiction

 

The menu says that you can choose between the two. But you’re going to get a can of Pepsi. The menu should actually just tell you you’re getting a Pepsi. I don’t know what use people have for a Pepsi that late at night, but you can always save it for a mixed drink later down the road. I actually asked for the spring roll once, only to be told “no” and then be immediately hung up on. I don’t know if the spring roll is any good and I probably never will.

 

3. You cannot make a single mistake while ordering New Hong Kong

 

Fact

 

A typical New Hong Kong order takes around 10-15 seconds to place, and there’s no real margin for error here. The man on the phone will ask you “Pick up or delivery” followed by “what’s your address” followed by “what would you like” followed by “okay bye.” You get what you ask for and nothing else. Do not make a mistake or you will regret it.

 

4. New Hong Kong delivers in under 15 minutes

 

Fact

 

Well, occasionally it’s a fact. I once had my food delivered in 12 minutes. I hope that’s a record because anything less is, well, disturbing. New Hong Kong tends to deliver between the 20-40 minute range. 20-25 minutes is typically considered the norm.

 

5. It is acceptable to order New Hong Kong before 1 am.

 

Fiction

 

There is absolutely no way that this is socially acceptable. The only way a person could be in a state where New Hong Kong would be acceptable before 1 am is through extreme binge drinking. If that’s the kind of state you’re in, you should probably just go to bed, or have one of your roomies carry you there. No New Hong Kong for you.

 

6. New Hong is not real food.

 

Undecided

 

The jury’s still out on that one. I’ve never really seen yellow rice served outside of a Mexican restaurant and no one really sure what’s inside the General Tso’s chicken. But you can’t really let this prevent you from ordering from there. Friday and Saturday nights were made for bad decisions after all.

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