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The Text

The text. We’ve all sent it, and we’ve all received it. It’s not always the same, but we all know what it is. A “Hey, what’s up?” can be a friend seeing what you’re up to, or it can mean that you’re not going to be going to bed any time soon. I won’t get your hopes up. This isn’t some kind of solution to the Enigma Code. This is just an honest exploration into the world of texting from someone just as confused as you are. Up until this point I thought my texting game was on point: witty, amorous, and being just enough of asshole to get what I wanted. However, it’s just at this point of comfort that has made me, as I’m sure you have, question it all.


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“It’s been 24 minutes and she still hasn’t responded. She’s probably just busy pregaming, right?” My mind races. In that moment, nothing else matters. All I want is confirmation of what I’ve said. I feel like John Nash from A Beautiful Mind trying to put all of the pieces together. Sure, make fun all you want, but I know I’m not alone when I begin to question the number of ‘ha’s’ I sent in my last text; just enough to let them know you’re kidding, but few enough to keep them off balance. I try to think of other things, but I can’t. Potential hookup or long time boy/girlfriend it doesn’t matter, this text message interaction consumes me.

In theory, I could easily just pick up the phone, see what he/she is doing, but please, we all know that isn’t an option. These 160 characters are my jail cell, and I’m a prisoner to all that they represent. I have to lay them out just so, so they allude to my intentions (or lack there of) while still seeming as casual as possible. No firm commitment means no hurt feelings. That’s what college is. Right?

In all honesty, I have totally prescribed to that concept up to this point. I’ve been like a Captain John Smith with women. Throw me a Pocahontas and I’d try my best to figure out the language. I just wanted to see the colors of her wind. But as a junior, or – more importantly – as an upper classman (Jesus, that sounds weird), I begin to question it. Am I really doing this right? Should I really be letting a few short, albeit well crafted, sentences decide how and with whom I spend my time? That’s a hard question for me to answer.

Now, I won’t try to sit here and tell you that texting is the Goldeen of communication. Some of the best interactions that I’ve had with the opposite sex have developed from texting, and a good text game can almost always guarantee a first or second hangout. I’m just saying, it seems like we never really convey what we’re feeling when we text. In reality, maybe that’s what we’re looking for. It’s a way to be connected with those that we care about without ever putting ourselves on the line.

Well, sack up. Press end and don’t save it to drafts (yeah, yeah, I don’t have a smart phone. Get off my back). How many times in your life are you going to have this sort of access to the opposite sex? More importantly, how many times in your life are you going to be able to take someone to lunch where you can swipe your card and have it mean nothing to your immediate bank account? That’s what I thought. Thanks, Mom and Dad, all this academic stuff aside, I think college might just be worth it.

*This artice is meant to be light-hearted, discussion of the article should be structured in a fashion that reflects the nature of the piece

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