They say that Christmas is the season for giving. Between Thanksgiving and the whole month of December, that’s a lot of giving. Sometimes the pressure of Christmas can be a little much. But that’s okay.
I’m sure there are plenty of people overwhelmed by the Christmas lists that must be completed or the cooking that must be done for relatives that no one wants to see anyway. There has to be another way. A Festivus for the rest of us!
Thanks to Seinfeld, every December 23rd people around the world bring out the aluminum pole. It’s a day where we can be reminded that we do not need to rain blows down on our brothers and sisters (provided you’re not competing in the Feats of Strength) to get that special doll. Commercialism, No. Festivus, Yes.
For those of you unfamiliar with Festivus, this video should explain what the magic is all about
In honor of Festivus, I thought I would focus my first round of the Airing of Grievances against BC. I’ve got a lot of problems with BC, and now they’re going to hear about it!!!
• Eagles Nest only gives you four small slices on meat on your sandwich. Might as well be called the vegetarian wrap…
• Hillside’s coffee stinks!!! Why can’t the school use the same coffee as that place up the hill? Does Peet’s coffee not deliver to Lower?
• The Plex Hot tub is closed way too often. Tuition is not free; the student body should be able to use the hot tub whenever we want.
• The speakers in the yoga room have been broken all semester. Namaste? I don’t think so.
• The bus driver with the moustache is the worst He never stops if you’re the only person at the bus stop and he won’t stop unless you’re standing up on the bus. This isn’t Harry Potter, quit driving like a mad man.
• The Newton Campus. Nothing more needs to be said.
• Carney has lockers?
• The trees that smell in the quad must go. Freshmen vomit is not a fragrance that is appealing to prospective students, I don’t care how many applications this institution gets.
• OccupyBC? Meh.
• My last grievance lies with the beggars who ask for money outside the dining halls. Don’t try and say that this is the holiday season; you’ve been there since September. You’re not getting my money with your uncreative mooching and you never will.
See how good that feels? Festivus is liberating. So don’t forget to air your grievances to anyone who has wronged you this year. Whether it’s over the phone or during the traditional Festivus meal of meatloaf and spaghetti with red sauce, don’t let them get away.
May your Festivus be filled with more miracles than you can possibly imagine. And good luck with the Feats of Strength.