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The Prank War Chronicles Ep. 1

Before the war began, we were all sitting eating lunch in Mac: Jill, Ricky, Nico, and me. For some reason, the topic of pranks came up and Jill and Nico lamented about the fact that no one had really done any good pranks so far this year. Ricky left to get more food and came back with a slice of pumpkin pie. I gave in to my temptation and got up to go get a slice for myself. When I came back Nico was trying to film me on my phone but wouldn’t say why. I should have suspected something, but I didn’t. Little did I know that I was on the verge of an all-consuming war of wits and stealth…



Wednesday, February 8:

            12:30 pm: Jill and Ricky salted my Nalgene full of water when I got up in Mac to go buy dessert. One large gulp later and I realize something is not quite right. Jill and Nico declare The Prank War has begun. Rules: when someone is pranked, they have 24 hours to retaliate or they lose.


9 pm: I, with the help of Nico’s roommate, Zander, two of my other friends, and Jill’s roommate Grace, tape up Jill’s room. Blue painter’s tape, red and silver duct tape everywhere. Think The Parent Trap but with tape…all over her side of the room, like a massive spider web; though whatever kind of spider makes a web as insane as the one we made must have something seriously wrong with it. From her bed, to her closet, to her shelves, to her dresser and desk. And a little stress-reliever eagle is hung from the ceiling so when she opens the door she will discover the madness.


10:15 pm: Jill texts me “Where are you?” and leaves a threatening voicemail saying, “You know who this is. It’s on. It is ON.” I’m beginning to feel a little scared. I text her saying I don’t want her to be too mean and I don’t know what I’ve gotten myself into.


10:30 pm: Jill calls me and hangs up as soon as I answer. I text her that she’s beginning to freak me out. She responds with, “Ohhhh just you wait, you’ve unleashed the beast.” Now I’m sitting in my room, afraid to go down the hall to brush my teeth. I am terrified.



Thursday, February 9:

            10:15 am:  I’m walking to class when I see Jill walking towards me at a rapid pace with a scary look on her face. She’s obviously trying to intimidate me. It’s working.


6 pm: I have a chat with Jill, and she decides to change the rules. New rules: once a person is pranked, they have 4 days to retaliate (which I find excessive, but hey). There are also two rules in regards to the pranks: nothing can be damaged and no prank shall be done out of spite, that is, nothing too mean. Additionally, we are allowed to get others to be our accomplices even though they are not directly involved in The Prank War.

10 pm: A friend and I are mulling over the idea of doing a small prank on Jill to show her that she needs to hurry on up and prank me already. I’m getting bored. I mean, now I actually have to study for my Philosophy exam tomorrow.


To be continued…


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