Society & People

The Comm Ave Bus Chronicles: The Case of the Loud Mouths on Their Way to a Four Loko on a Wednesday Afternoon

I don’t begrudge people from having conversations on the bus. The buses aren’t very big and it’s easy to hear what other people are saying, even if you’re not trying to. But there are some people who want their conversation to be heard and those are the kind of people who appear in this feature.

I was sitting on the bus having a conversation with a friend who I hadn’t seen in awhile when I started to overhear a conversation happening between two seniors in the middle of one of the newer buses, I noticed that the decibel level of the conversation had increased once a girl got on the bus at Main Gate who these two cool dudes apparently knew.

Even though she was sitting down maybe two feet away from them, I could clearly hear that these guys were on their way to Reservoir liquors to do some day drinking. I found out that their motive for due to “having nothing to do today, so why not get drunk and play Nintendo 64 all day.” I haven’t used the word bro to describe these two for a reason, they weren’t bros. Rather, they seemed like the kind of people who you’d say “I remember my first beer” to at a party as a way of letting them know that their boasting of drunkenness was not amusing.

Another cool dude

These two were attempting to convince the young lady to join them in their quest for alcoholism but she was on her way downtown for an interview. I didn’t catch what the interview was because she wasn’t talking loud enough for the whole bus to hear, which is kind of inconsiderate given that the whole bus was involuntary included in the conversation anyway. I’m not sure if I wish her well given her association to these two guys, who I most certainly do not like.

In addition to making the bus aware of what they’re intentions to have a sloppy Wednesday afternoon, the two party animals also specified what beverage they’d be drinking. No, not natty light. These two were drinking Four Lokos.

Now, the question racing through my mind was simple. Why would are these two jerries looking to indulge themselves in a beverage that has all but lost its popularity since the FDA made it revise its formula? Fear not, my question was answered. Apparently “four lokos are perfect for day drinking because they get you messed up with just one can.” Yea, that’s real sound logic. I thought about suggesting that they road trip down to Providence to pick up some Everclear, which would really provide a bang for their buck (and possibly blindness), but I decided not to get involved.

The adventure sadly came to a close when the bus got to Reservoir. Since these two were seniors and I’m studying abroad in Melbourne this semester, I’ll likely never see those cool dudes again. But I couldn’t resist writing about my short time with them.

I took a few things from their conversation. These two were obviously proud of what they were doing or else they would’ve kept their voices down. Now, I’m certainly not anti-N64, but I don’t think the experienced is enhanced by the inclusion of a Four Loko. I also don’t know what college male with any ounce of self-respect would go around broadcasting his intentions to consume a Four Loko in the middle of the day. I wouldn’t be surprised if they spent the day playing Dr. Mario or another game that shouldn’t be played past the year 1999.

I guess I hope the two enjoyed themselves. It gave me something to write about. Who knows, maybe they’ll read this article and learn a little about the dos and don’ts of bus conversation? If you’re going to force the rest of the bus to listen to your conversation, at least make your topic interesting…

One Comment

  1. The Colonel

    There is a corrolary to Mr Malone’s reflections on the loud, stupid conversations on the bus. With respect to mobile phones, I dare say we have all overhead numerous snippets of mobile phone blather (often yelled – – if the reception is that bad, go outdoors maybe?) on trams, trains, even in restaurants. Have you ever once overheard an INTERESTING conversation? Ever? I tentatively conclude from my large sample of overheard mnobile conversations that the people who impose them on others, especially in restaurants, are uniformly morons.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *