ResLife says that approximately 526 sophomores a year will live on College Road. To those 526 souls of the class of 2015: I welcome you to the elite Co-Ro club.
I know you feel like perhaps your life (social and otherwise) is over, but fear not. The secret rooftop pools of College Road buildings (with retina scanning technology to keep out intruders from lower) will appease you. If not, I’ll do my best to try.
THE UNSPOKEN PERKS OF COLLEGE ROAD LIFE:
1.) It takes under 5 minutes to get to class.
Yes, this is true. I can honestly get up at 9:50 for my 10 o’clock class in Devlin and make it with minutes to spare. My record is two minutes and I plan to shave at least 30 seconds off before the year is over.
2.) Vanilla frozen yogurt from Mac never fails.
Always cold, always creamy, always delicious, and most importantly always there. Complete with delicious heath bar and Oreo toppings that don’t come from those weird plastic shakers that inhibit any topping from actually getting in your fro yo, this late night treat is a faithful and constant friend. (Apply also to the cereal dispensers).
3.) Going downhill to class.
Honestly, when you have to be up for an 8am discussion, the Million Dollar Stairs are just adding salt to the wound. I could roll to class and still get there in under 5 minutes, and gravity would do most of the work for me.
4.) A nice, clean room come Sunday morning.
Thanks for the party, 8 man-havers! Now that someone threw up on your couch, broke your TV, and spilled on your roommates computer charger, everyone in the party is going to throw their red cups and Natty cans all over your room and leave. Co-rosidents, your electronics and valuables are safe from the perils of debauchery. (Except, of course, yours)
5.) Toilet paper is expensive.
Actually, I wouldn’t know because I’ve never purchased any. Yes, freshman, College Road is indeed the economic choice. Not only do you not have to spend your hard earned dollars on plushy TP, you also don’t have to clean up the mess if your toilet decides to reject it.
Maybe this didn’t make your feel any better. Perhaps you actually feel worse upon reading this article. If this is the case, I apologize. But really, Co-Ro is not the worst thing in the world. You will not lose all your friends, you will not become a social pariah and you will not die of lack of oxygen in the high altitudes of upper campus. You will get though this, and come this time next year you will be chuckling with the wisdom of experience as the 2016 freshmen scream in Mac about their pick times and high hopes for a 9-man.