Featured, Life @ BC

Bothered: The Lack of Available Good Flavors for the F’Real Machine

I must admit, I am a fan of the F’real milkshake machine. I didn’t want to like it, but the shakes are pretty good. It’s a perfect late night treat for those of us who are sick of late night food and are out of ice cream in our dorms.

While the machine itself works wonderfully, this often proves to be a non factor at late night. The fridge, which houses the unprepared f’reals, is often devoid of any flavors which may prove satisfactory to a person looking for something pleasurable to the palette. Instead, it serves as refuge to undesirable flavors such as Coffee, Cappuccino, Mango, and Blueberry Raspberry Pomegranate.

My qualm with the Coffee and Cappuccino flavors is in line with my thoughts of caffeinated specialty drinks in general. I drink coffee at social events and in the morning. Not at late night. I can see how other people would want the smoothies flavors, but they do not make for satisfactory late night treats. If health food was welcome at late night, the chicken parm line would be replaced by Addies.

F’real has three excellent flavors. The chocolate, mint chocolate, and cookies and cream are all wonderful. They are practically nonexistent come late night though.

This defeats the purpose of the milkshake machine altogether. If you cannot drink a milkshake for dessert, then why bother even having the machine? I’m certainly not going to have it for breakfast.

BC needs to increase the number of good F’real flavors that it orders. There are clearly not enough to go around. There’s a time and a place for everything but 11:00 pm is not the time for a Blueberry Raspberry Pomegranate smoothie.

One Comment

  1. The sad truth, learned over the decades and around the world, is that anything labeled “F’Real” is NOT real; anything labeled ‘creme’ this-or-that will contain not one molecule which came from a cow and will be 100% due to chemical wizardry. Indeed I overheard a cop once remark that “The thing I love about Diet Coke is that wonderful chemical aftertaste.” Anything labeled “Low [worse still, ‘lo’] fat,” “low-cal,” or “healthy choice” will taste like crap if not actually be inedible, and words such as ‘light’ or ‘mild’ are a clear monition to buy something else.

    Like Dr Malone, I love milk-shakes. The operative words are ‘milk’ and ‘shake’ with an implied promise that the milk will be shaken with ice cream of the desired flavour. Nothing else: no corn-starch thickener, no fake-o ice cream substitute, nothing but milk and ice cream, and perhaps a bit of chocolate syrup if you wish my personal favourite, a chocolate shake made with vanilla ice cream. Anyone messing with the true milkshake recipe should be shot, or at least sentenced to a 30-day diet of nothing but McDoh meals, three times a day.

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