While BC puts other schools to shame in our celebrations of St. Patrick’s Day and Marathon Monday, Valentine’s Day is one most of us would like to forget even exists. For all intents and purposes, Valentine’s Day does not exist at BC. Lower might be decorated with hearts next Thursday, but that will be a largely symbolic gesture. Whether or not that’s a bad thing is up to you.
The hookup culture feeds into the instant gratification that people have been using to define our generation. It’s hardly a concept unique to the college student residing in Chestnut Hill, but for whatever reason we’ve allowed it to become the predominant form of what was once upon a time called romance. Again, I hesitate to put forth commentary which condones or condemns this behavior.
My hesitation to pass judgment on the hookup culture stems from my reluctance to condemn what has now become an accepted part of BC life. The hookup came before me and it will remain after I graduate in May. Given that I believe that BC students are for the most part good people, I don’t rush to knock the hookup culture.
There’s no denying that the hookup culture makes it hard to find willing participants for the purposes of dating. Saying yes to a date now calls for the person who was asked to stop and consider whether or not he/she wants to date at all even before the potential romantic pros/cons of the person who asked the question are even considered. That confusion you’re probably feeling from that last sentence hopefully serves as a halfway decent metaphor for the muddled predicament that the dating scene now finds itself in.
That’s not to say that dating can’t survive in this culture. I’m sure most of can think of a few people at BC with boyfriends or girlfriends. The problem is that most of us probably can’t name more than one or two without really thinking about it.
I’m not sure anything needs to be done about it though. The hookup culture didn’t just invade BC. We all became willing participants in it and welcomed the instant gratification into our lives. Just because it’s not the way we used to do things doesn’t mean that it’s not okay to do it at all.
Valentine’s Day naturally calls those of us who currently have “single” marked on our Facebook pages to wonder if that’s any way to live. But it’s only one day. How many of us are still going to question the current landscape of BC’s romantic scene on February 15th?
I urge the student body currently unhappy with the hookup culture to fully embody the change that you want to see on this campus. These changes will come gradually, if they come at all. An environment this fully entrenched in its ways is not going to change overnight.
I’m not so sure that it needs to. The average age for marriage is way higher than it used to be. I know, marriage, right, a big scary word. For most of us, that concept is a ways away.
Which means that the hookup culture might not be such a bad thing. Most of us will hopefully outgrow spending our Friday nights drinking Natty Light in a dim lighted basement. Our college years might be a major time to grow and mature, but we shouldn’t feel the need to rush the process unnaturally.
If you want to date, then go out and find someone. That might be an unappealing tall order, but social change starts with the people. It’s not supposed to be easy and it certainly won’t always be successful. For me at least, that’s okay.