You’ve seen it: a furrowed brow, a bite of the lip, a face of consternation hunched over a glowing screen. It is a battle in which the iPhone is the enemy. It is the difference between a light contrast mostly on the top or a flattening glow.
“I can’t decide, Amaro or Sierra?”
The plight of the Instagram filter. In the back of every twenty-something’s mind is the sinking horror of choosing the wrong filter. What if another filter might have been more attractive? WHAT IF? WHAT. IF. It could have been the difference between 11 likes and 24 likes. This is a monumental photo and it can’t be ruined by the wrong choice of preset photo edits.
Luckily for you, I’ve removed all future doubt by carefully studying each filter and its effect. I believe each filter on the treasured application Instagram carries a distinct personality that speaks worlds about the user, adding to the picture a dimension it did not previously have: the right to publication.
Mayfair—Everyone’s Favorite Filter
Willow—This picture’s only good in black and white
Amaro—The most irrelevant filter in the world
Rise—A less pretentious Earlybird
Hefe—Good for you Hefe, good for you
Hudson—Your friendly neighborhood filter
Nashville—The landscapes in Tennessee are slightly more blue-hued than everywhere else in the world
Inkwell—This picture is still only good in black and white
Toaster—I need a tan
1977—You shook the Polaroid.
X-Pro II—the filter version of that unfortunate Fast and the Furious series
Brannan—Who are you?
Sutro—hangs out with Brannan, that’s all I’ll say
Lo-Fi—this filter gets not a high five, but a lo…
Walden—food food food food food
Sierra—THIS BEAT IS…
No filter—get out.
The Rock is now on Instagram @TheRockatBC!