What Your Instagram Filter Says About You

by • July 17, 2013 • Arts & Culture, Featured, SpotlightComments (1)1494

You’ve seen it: a furrowed brow, a bite of the lip, a face of consternation hunched over a glowing screen. It is a battle in which the iPhone is the enemy. It is the difference between a light contrast mostly on the top or a flattening glow.

“I can’t decide, Amaro or Sierra?”

The plight of the Instagram filter. In the back of every twenty-something’s mind is the sinking horror of choosing the wrong filter. What if another filter might have been more attractive? WHAT IF? WHAT. IF. It could have been the difference between 11 likes and 24 likes. This is a monumental photo and it can’t be ruined by the wrong choice of preset photo edits.1062756_10153012325565398_1722078564_n

Luckily for you, I’ve removed all future doubt by carefully studying each filter and its effect. I believe each filter on the treasured application Instagram carries a distinct personality that speaks worlds about the user, adding to the picture a dimension it did not previously have: the right to publication.

Valencia—The non-filter

Earlybird—VINTAGE!!!!!111!

Mayfair—Everyone’s Favorite Filter

Willow—This picture’s only good in black and white

Amaro—The most irrelevant filter in the world

Rise—A less pretentious Earlybird

Hefe—Good for you Hefe, good for you

Hudson—Your friendly neighborhood filter

Kelvin—I’m tacky

Nashville—The landscapes in Tennessee are slightly more blue-hued than everywhere else in the world

Inkwell—This picture is still only good in black and white

Toaster—I need a tan

1977—You shook the Polaroid.

X-Pro II—the filter version of that unfortunate Fast and the Furious series

Brannan—Who are you?

Sutro—hangs out with Brannan, that’s all I’ll say

Lo-Fi—this filter gets not a high five, but a lo…

Walden—food food food food food

Sierra—THIS BEAT IS…

No filter—get out.

Happy posting!

The Rock is now on Instagram @TheRockatBC!

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