This letter is a response to an earlier post on BC Confessions; the full text of the confession is available here.
You know those times when you find yourself sympathizing with someone you shouldn’t? Like when you found out that Professor Snape had a rough childhood and he secretly loved Lily and you forget for a minute how much he tormented Harry, or you catch yourself rooting for the Lannisters to be together even though you know incest is wrong?
I’ll tell you, buddy, you almost had me there. You really know how to set up a story. You give us a sad story about a lonely kid who keeps getting played, a little mumbo-jumbo about how you’re not social or good-looking, and you almost have me feeling sorry for you.
But I don’t. You could be the most socially awkward, unattractive sad-sack to ever walk the face of the earth, and I still could not feel sorry for you. That’s because you’re a rapist. You forced sex on three young women who were incapable of consenting. I can’t sympathize with that.
You are a monster in every sense of the word. You are a menace. You are the reason why girls are warned to watch their drinks and never walk alone and trust no one. The fact that your confession was anonymous—that nobody knows who you are—that you could be anyone at this school—is terrifying.
You’ll never have to experience this fear. You will never know what it’s like to wake up in the morning with little to no memory or evidence of what transpired the previous night. You will never know what it’s like to grapple with the notion that maybe you were at fault for someone else’s indiscretion, that it wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t so drunk or if you hadn’t put your trust in the hands of the wrong person. Sure, you may feel bad, but try to imagine what it’s like to be one of the women you assaulted.
Let’s just say for argument’s sake that I’m speaking from experience. Maybe I’ve been that girl who was too drunk to say “no”, too scared to speak up. But really, what difference does it make? Why should it have to happen to me in order to be appalled by disgraceful behavior? Because you are a disgrace. We all get sloppy, but to harm another person when they can’t fight back goes against everything BC stands for.
I hope people learn from you. I hope there are men out there who hear your story and see the reactions from others and know that sexual assault is not something that will be tolerated. I hope more people become active bystanders. I hope more men like you confess, realize their errors, turn themselves in. But maybe that’s too much to hope for.
At the very least, I hope you see justice, because that’s what you deserve.