Featured, Life @ BC, Spotlight

An Open Letter to Confession #7122

This letter is a response to an earlier post on BC Confessions; the full text of the confession is available here.

You know those times when you find yourself sympathizing with someone you shouldn’t?  Like when you found out that Professor Snape had a rough childhood and he secretly loved Lily and you forget for a minute how much he tormented Harry, or you catch yourself rooting for the Lannisters to be together even though you know incest is wrong?

I’ll tell you, buddy, you almost had me there.  You really know how to set up a story.  You give us a sad story about a lonely kid who keeps getting played, a little mumbo-jumbo about how you’re not social or good-looking, and you almost have me feeling sorry for you.  164481_153210184837301_1799047257_n

But I don’t.  You could be the most socially awkward, unattractive sad-sack to ever walk the face of the earth, and I still could not feel sorry for you.  That’s because you’re a rapist.  You forced sex on three young women who were incapable of consenting.  I can’t sympathize with that.

You are a monster in every sense of the word.  You are a menace.  You are the reason why girls are warned to watch their drinks and never walk alone and trust no one.  The fact that your confession was anonymous—that nobody knows who you are—that you could be anyone at this school—is terrifying.

You’ll never have to experience this fear.  You will never know what it’s like to wake up in the morning with little to no memory or evidence of what transpired the previous night.  You will never know what it’s like to grapple with the notion that maybe you were at fault for someone else’s indiscretion, that it wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t so drunk or if you hadn’t put your trust in the hands of the wrong person.  Sure, you may feel bad, but try to imagine what it’s like to be one of the women you assaulted.

Let’s just say for argument’s sake that I’m speaking from experience.  Maybe I’ve been that girl who was too drunk to say “no”, too scared to speak up.  But really, what difference does it make?  Why should it have to happen to me in order to be appalled by disgraceful behavior?  Because you are a disgrace.  We all get sloppy, but to harm another person when they can’t fight back goes against everything BC stands for.

I hope people learn from you.  I hope there are men out there who hear your story and see the reactions from others and know that sexual assault is not something that will be tolerated.  I hope more people become active bystanders.  I hope more men like you confess, realize their errors, turn themselves in.  But maybe that’s too much to hope for.

At the very least, I hope you see justice, because that’s what you deserve.


  1. This is not a new scenario, it has happened like this for years, however, it is another example of how social media is changing the world we all live in. I agree with you Kate, and hope for a safer campus for all the women who live there. I do hope that #7122 gets the help he needs and realizes that he has serious problems. God help him, Please.

    • While rehabilitation is a noble goal, in the end safety is a #1 priority–though the confessor seems contrite and perhaps will seek help, it’s most important that our campus becomes a secure environment and that young men understand that taking advantage of somebody is never acceptable.

  2. Thank you for saying something about this.

  3. “You’ll never have to experience this fear.” I don’t mean to start anything, but it’s ignorant to assume that only women are in danger of this happening. I understand that the stats show this happening more toward women, but nevertheless it still happens to a large amount of men. This is the reason my male friend doesn’t drink and brings his drink absolutely everywhere, so he doesn’t get raped again. He’s constantly in fear every weekend he goes out.

    • Thanks so much for your comment, and for pointing out that men too can be rape victims. While women do make up the majority, it was erroneous for me to exclude the male victims of sexual assault. I’m sorry to hear about your friend and apologize for my exclusionary wording.

  4. Pingback: Ethics Alert: Should ‘F*cked-Up Facebook Rape Hoax’ Have Been Posted? : College Media Matters

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *