A Gift for Every Major

by • December 1, 2013 • Featured, Society & PeopleComments (0)1455

This year, The Rock at Boston College is doing the season of joy in a big way by generating new content every day in our first ever “25 Days of Christmas”. The Rock is proud to present this installment in our holiday special.

With the gift-giving season having already begun with Hanukkah and Christmas quickly approaching, the question on everybody’s minds is what to get their friend for the holidays.  Don’t worry, though, I’ve crafted a highly specialized gift-giving guide based on the one thing you know they love: their major!  Their major is something they cherish so much that they pay large sums of money to study it, and a gift based on that would really warm their hearts.

As festive as Einstein looks, he’s really just hiding his unruly mop.

Sciences: Strong hair gel.  All the great scientific minds have crazy hair: Albert Einstein, Bill Nye, the Ghostbusters.  A bottle of hair gel will give them that classic look that screams, “I haven’t slept or eaten anything but a caffeine pill and a can of whipped cream in a week!”

Communications and Film: A book.  They spend all of their time watching television and movies in class, so it wouldn’t hurt to read something.  But give them a book that the film majors can’t compare to the movie adaptation, or a book without strong themes so the communications majors can’t apply media theory to them.  The Great Gatsby should be a safe bet.

Humanities: A crisp $10 bill.  Humanities is really broad; there are things like English, Sociology, and Poli-Sci.  A ten dollar bill will help that English major get a cool new paperback, the sociology major can donate it to the charity of their choice, and the Poli-Sci major can use it to fund the government takeover they will lead one day.

History and Anthropology: Something dusty.  These people love old things, and to my knowledge, everything that is dusty is old.  Therefore, they will love it!  So give them whatever musty and dusty things you can find, like your old furby, the Ark of the Covenant, or your grandfather.

Let’s have a toast to health, happiness and lifelong job security.

Business and Economics: A bottle of champagne to save for a few years.  This way, they can use it as a ‘vintage’ champagne to celebrate making their first million dollars, or to christen the yacht they buy when they become rich, or to fill up the swimming pool of pure champagne they install in their mansion’s backyard when they become rich.

Cultures and Languages: A gift card to their local mall’s food court.  This way, no matter what culture or language they study, they can find an appropriate place to grab a taste of that culture.  Chinese?  Panda Express!  Hispanic studies?  You have Taco Bell!  German language?  Wetzel’s Pretzels!  The list is literally endless.

Santa knows how stressful working with kids can be. Give the gift of pain relief to the Lynch student in your life.

Elementary Education: Aspirin.  I worked at a camp this summer for just 8 weeks, and little kids are stressful.  If your friend wants to do this for the rest of their life, they’ll literally need a ton of aspirin.

Secondary Education: Aspirin.  I worked at a camp this summer for just 8 weeks, and the teenagers I worked with are stressful.  They’re incompetent at a surprising number of things; to tolerate them, your friend will need literally four tons of aspirin.

Nursing and Pre-Med: Give them the gift of practice!  If you have something weird or medically wrong with you, your medically inclined friends would love nothing more than to take a look at it for you, free of charge!  You get a free exam, they get to prove their skills; it’s a win-win!

Theatre & Fine Arts: A job.  Please.

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