The Rock Class of 2018 Presents: Housing Lottery Analysis

by • March 15, 2015 • OtherComments (0)576

Good afternoon folks.  We are live here at Boston College in what can only be described as a time period with more drama than an episode of Degrassi.  With just over 24 hours until sophomore housing selections, the Freshman Eagles are focused on only one thing: the housing lottery.  Let’s take a look at some of this year’s prospects.

Michelle Castro

Screen Shot 2015-03-15 at 3.07.10 PMAfter spending freshman year in Fitz, Michelle is looking for anything with minimal walking distance to food/classes so as to not “freeze (her) ass off in this godforsaken apocalyptic ice world.” A few weeks into the housing process Michelle made the realization of her lack of female friends (she cites being due to a subconscious aversion, a result of six years of Catholic all-girls school). So she’s crossing her fingers for a triple in 66 next year.

When asked about her lack of concern for not having an 8-man group, Michelle’s response can most accurately be summed up as ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.  Frankly, she’s not one for hosting parties or cleaning her own bathroom.

Alexa Kilroy

Screen Shot 2015-03-15 at 3.06.49 PMHaving lived in MedWeirdos for two completely silent semesters, Alexa has already accepted her fate on the island of Greycliff. Alexa has learned to embrace living in isolation already, so why not live on Greycliff. She thinks that if she says the word Greycliff enough, she’ll just get used to it. Greycliff, Greycliff, Greycliff. It’s starting to have a nice ring to it.

Given her completely random placement in the honors building freshman year, Alexa is pretty positive that there is a 99.9% chance she’ll be in Greycliff, because clearly the housing lottery is just as easy to navigate as exploring the Amazon with a blindfold on. Alexa then plans to live off campus junior year, as she was only granted three years of housing. Perhaps she will fall so deeply in love with Greycliff that she will stay there indefinitely. Or not.

Mike McGee

Screen Shot 2015-03-15 at 3.13.49 PMComing off a year on Newton Campus, Mike has a lot riding on this year’s lottery.  Mike was recently quoted saying that the Newton-CoRo tandem would be “the most heartbreaking thing to happen to [him] in [his] college career”.  A firm advocate for priority for the Newton Campus, Mike has eyes set on acquiring an eight-man.  Reports have recently confirmed that Mike does have a group of eight men ready to pounce on the opportunity.

When asked about his dream scenario, Mike replied with only two words: “Walsh Penthouse”.  Current odds-makers have deduced Mike’s odds for an eight-man sit at around 65%, citing at his incredible spring semester class pick time as a sign for good things to come.  Rumors around the campus say that Mike will not move off campus if he is placed in even the worst of possible areas: Gonzaga.

Grace Rice

Screen Shot 2015-03-15 at 3.14.44 PMGrace spent freshman year basking in the glory of her Gonzaga double, where the people are friendly and most importantly, the walks to food are short. The debate has begun on whether lightning will strike twice and she will be smiled upon by the housing gods.

With the 8-man in place, Grace has adopted a sense of cautious optimism and neutrality. She stated her objective as, “never eating Mac again,” so luckily, her odds of being somewhere on Lower sit around 70%. While her unfortunate class pick time could be a bad omen, it’s worth noting that she got all her classes by sheer will and force. Grace Rice gets what she wants.

Korey Ryan

Screen Shot 2015-03-15 at 3.05.24 PMAfter being sorted into the Fitz Penthouse for his first year on the Heights, Korey is looking to continue his luck with housing next year with “really anything on lower.” Korey and his group remain steadfast in their belief that they’ll land in an eight-man, whether it be Walsh or Vandy is the question. He was recently overheard saying: “Vandy’s a lot nicer, but Walsh is party central and we all know that’s where I belong. Definitely a tough choice.”

Despite the Rock’s own Kate Lewis believing Korey will land on the dreaded CoRo, Vegas currently has optimistic odds for him to land an eight-man, sitting at roughly 61.3%. To appease Chief Kate’s CoRo prediction, those odds have been set at 12.8%. Experts cite Korey’s abhorrent pick time for classes as to why he’ll receive a good lottery pick, believing things will turn around. With nobody really having any clue how this hellish lottery works, Korey will be relying on the luck of the Irish here.

Best of luck to the entire class of 2018 as the housing lottery begins! Stay tuned to see how our contenders fare.

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