On Saturday, October 24th, our own Grace “I’ve never been to the Plex” Rice attempted to run a 5k, motivated by her respect for the legacy of Welles and the peer pressure of her athlete roommate. These are her notes.
Friday, October 23rd, 8:32pm: In the spirit of tradition from back when I was athletic and rowed in high school, I propose to Erin, my athlete roommate who I will be “running” with, that we carbo-load at Comella’s. I order an obscene amount of pasta, along with a salad to balance things out. I resist the urge to buy a new pair of leggings for the race at Athleta on the way back. Partly because I’m not athletic and don’t deserve fancy active wear, and partly because I’ve already spent a lot of money this week impulse buying a s’mores maker and taco costume.
Saturday, October 24th, 7:00am: I am told Erin’s alarm went off at this point. I did not stir.
7:30am: Erin yells at me for the first time to wake up.
7:39am: Erin yells at me a second time, with more fervor. I rise slowly, and employ dirty tactics. “My bed is so warm. Do you want to feel how soft my blankets are? We can snuggle.” Erin is unfazed by my efforts.
8:02am: Having rolled out of bed, put on my active wear, and a tiny bit of makeup (who knows who I’ll see at this thing??), we head out. I ask if I should wear my fleece, and Erin assures me that I’d get hot, so we both decide we’ll be good in our short sleeve tees. It is 44° outside.
8:17am: Following check-in, I discover that Erin thought the race started at 8:30. Nope. It’s definitely 9:00. We sit on the floor of the rat and complain about our various aches. This race was a grand idea.
8:28am: We go outside to pet some dogs and run into one of our suitemates, Isabel, who is also in far better shape than me. I assure her that I ran a couple times this summer, so I’ll totally be fine.
8:34am: With all due respect, isn’t the Crowther family supposed to be talking already? We go inside Gasson to escape the cold. We can’t bring ourselves to go back outside when it is time for the speech.
8:57am: Given my high expectations of my running ability, I fall into line with the 10-minute pace people. Erin touches base with another skier, who will also inevitably run faster than me. I assure Erin that the best way to stay warm and motivated is to bounce up and down and sing “The Final Countdown.”
9:09am: People do this for fun? Why? Erin had promised me that we would jog at my place. What happened to that? Her competitive instincts have kicked in and she’s running. I don’t want to do this. I don’t care if it’s downhill.
9:18am: Much to Erin’s dismay, I’ve switched to walking. She is visibly frustrated, begging me to at least shuffle, but I remain defiant. “Maybe if you’d jogged at beginning! I’m too tired now.”
9:25am: Along the Res portion of the race, a few senior citizens pass me. This does not embarrass me. Good for them. Let me remind you that you get literally nothing for finishing this in 20 minutes. It doesn’t really matter.
9:28am: Sensing Erin’s exasperation, I agree to jog the portion from where we are along the Res back to Conte. SHE stops sooner than I was going to because the people in front of us are slow and the hill is coming up.
9:33am: Back alongside campus, we debate just going to Mac and getting breakfast, but remember we gave Maggie the bags with Nutrigrain bars and bandannas and that she’s waiting for us at the finish. Might as well just finish this thing up at this point. We take a small shortcut through Stokes Amphitheatre and begin jogging.
9:39am: We pass Erin’s boyfriend along CoRo, and she assures him that it is me who has been slowing her down, as if that wasn’t obvious. I respond by yelling the Beyoncé lyrics, “RADIO SAY ‘SPEED IT UP’, I JUST GO SLOWER!” Again, let me emphasize that there is no medal you get for finishing in 20 minutes instead of 40. Friendly reminder.
9:41am: Approaching the finish line, I break into a sprint. I would liken Erin’s aggravation to a parent who realizes their child really is smart, but just doesn’t try after seeing the child’s standardized test scores do not reflect their GPA.
9:42am: I raise my hands above my head and bask in the glory of the finish. The crowd erupts into cheers. I did it! I broke 43 minutes!!!
9:58am: Back at lower the crowds are oppressive and I reward myself for my efforts with two slices of bread and Powerade. I deserve this. I just “ran” a 5k!
11:04am: Erin has already gone back to bed, and I receive an email congratulating me on finishing and directing me to my results. I finished 1472/1526. #Blessed
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