Featured, Society & People

7 Reasons Open Letters Are the Pizza of Journalism, As Told By Michael Scott

1. Every white bitch you know LOVES a good open letter, much like she loves a rad slice of ‘za.



See here, here, and here.


2. Much like that pie you just ordered, there is no lack of cheese in most open letters.


aaaaaaaayou complete me

My roommate loves me more than Kanye loves Kanye. Extra mozzarella, please.


3. Both open letters and pizza have a certain “importance” in the eye of their beholders



Whether it be because “they’re totally obsessed with pizza and that’s like so funny” or because “you absolutely must read it!”, chances are you hear about both way more than you need to.


4. If you don’t enjoy a good open letter, then something’s like *wrong* with you!



Everyone loves pizza! I mean open letters.


5. Also like pizza, there are some gems to be found in the realm of open.



But the reality is, you’re not going to Cambridge to get some famous Area 4 pizza. Your friends are wasted and just ordered from the 24-hour place with one star on GrubHub.


6. Neither is particularly challenging and enriching to your palate, either.



Sure you could read that thing your professor shared from The Economist or give that new vegan restaurant a shot, but why take the risk?


7. You hate yourself for your lack of self control regarding both.



Something about cheesy goodness and self-indulgent click-bait.


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