Disclaimer: When my mom asked me who was performing for our spring concert this year, I told her it was that Christian Rock singer Matt Maher. Mom, if you’re reading this, just know that I went to Mass for Ascension Thursday before I went to this concert.
The day that I’ve been waiting for all semester is finally here. I’m talking about the day where I get to go to a full day of classes, play a furious, peer-pressured game of catch-up, and stand in a parking lot that’s usually flooded with rain to watch two and a half hours of openers and one hour of a rapper who I didn’t know actually still performed. Nothing gets me motivated to study for all five of my final exams like seeing Faheem Rashad Najm (T-Pain for short), who is worth $35 million dollars but didn’t seem to get around to finishing high school, walk around on stage and shout some things over a background tape.
Regardless of all this, I’ve been secretly looking forward to seeing T-Pain live since I heard that he “probably might be at Modstock” a few months ago. When it was officially announced, I tried to grimace like everyone else but inside I was already vibing to “Buy U a Drank (Shawty Snappin’)” and “I’m N Luv (Wit a Stripper).” So, as T-Pain once said, “ride with me through the journey of more success.”
I’m out of my first and only class of the day. I’m just going to skip forward a couple of hours because most of them consisted of me awkwardly sitting around not wanting to start homework but knowing it was too early to “get ready” (read: pregame).
I am entering a disgusting Walsh pregame for (hopefully) the last time, and man, does it feel horrible. The thoughts of finals are spinning around in my head, and I realize I’m going to have to find a way to shove them aside. Suddenly, “Booty Wurk (One Cheek At a Time)” comes on my friend’s iHome. I have found the strength to push on.
I have trudged my way to the mods in full rain attire, sporting my L.L. Bean waterproof jacket which will absolutely make me a desirable dance partner for the boys. I hope T-Pain doesn’t mind getting a little wet.
I am listening to an opener I have never heard of before and will probably never hear again. I’m contemplating sneaking away from my friends to go find T-Pain’s tour bus.
A guy approximately 6 feet tall and weighing upwards of 200 pounds just stepped on my foot. May have to leave the premises to obtain a tourniquet.
T-PAIN IS FINALLY ON. I stand on my tip-toes in the back because nobody will let the short girl with a strange affinity for 2000’s rap music get anywhere remotely close to the front.
I start thinking that this concert actually is kind of not that fun.. I can’t tell if all this water on me is rain, my sweat, or other people’s sweat, and my foot that got stepped on previously has now lost all feeling and I’m beginning to wonder what being an amputee would feel like. Then, I hear it. The glorious sound of *AUTOTUNEEEE*. I leave all of my inhibitions behind and turn into one of the professionally trained hip hop dancers from Fame I always knew I was meant to be.
I am pop-lock-and dropping it like I have never before. The world is spinning around me, but it’s just T-Pain and I on the dance floor now. Every word he’s singing is directed at me. I have entered a state of psychological flow I never thought was possible.
I have pushed my way to the front of the crowd. My jacket is ripped, my foot has now completely fallen off and is lost somewhere in the mass of people. But do I care? Not one bit. This is my peak. I will never feel happier than I do at this moment.
Suddenly, the music stops. T-Pain walks off the stage, everyone starts clapping, and the crowd begins to disperse. I’m not prepared to deal with this kind of loss…where is the encore? Where is the VIP meet-and-greet? I am in denial, the first stage of grief, and the only thing that can pull me out of this dark place is a greasy chicken finger from Lower.
Overall, I have to say that Modstock was pretty fun this year. Even though I definitely contracted some kind of virus from standing in the cold and damp weather, it was definitely worth it to see the unique type of talent and stage presence that comes from a washed up (and probably almost washed away because of this fricken’ rain) rapper who is struggling to stay relevant.
I’m already excited to see who CAB will get to perform next year. First Ludacris, then T-Pain…I’m secretly pulling for Waka Flocka since he never ended up coming to Naga a few weeks ago.