This past week, CAB vaguely announced the headliner for Plexapalooza, one of the most highly-anticipated campus events during the Spring semester. Held in the Plex (hence the name), this event gives students a chance to see a live musical performance at the same place where they typically stand awkwardly by the weights, play intramural sports like they actually matter, and struggle to get through that revolving gate thing by the front desk.
According to the cover photo for the event on Facebook, Plexapalooza will feature EDM DJ Marshmello. Many BC students will know some of the DJ’s most famous songs, including “Alone,” “Summer,” and a recent hit, “Ritual.” One thing that nobody knows, though, is the real identity behind this strange, marshmallow-masked icon. Many BC students don’t even know who Marshmello is in the first place, and considering the headdress that the DJ adorns reminds me of something I would put on a stick and shove between two graham crackers, I decided to do a little digging and throw out some options for who exactly is behind this mask.
All of the rumors about Donald Trump’s second son not living in The White House certainly raise some *speculations*. Eric Trump would certainly have a difficult time inconspicuously leaving the Oval Office while carrying a giant white blob with eye holes, and maybe he uses all of that hair gel to prevent a bad cause of hat hair. (This guess could also be substituted with politician Ted Cruz…might as well keep the weird suspicions about him going.)
Maybe the reason why our football coach has been so incompetent is because he’s a little bit busy with other obligations! Lack of good coaching ability shown in games could be caused by too much focus on creating sick beats for his next set at Garage Nightclub. If Addazio ends up getting fired at some point, he’s going to need to have a second source of income anyway, and his performance at Plexapalooza would be a great chance for him to check up on his players and make sure they aren’t being too rowdy.
Maria from Eagles
Honestly, this woman already does it all. She makes the perfect Tuscan Chicken and makes my horrible day into a great one just by adding extra tomato when I ask, so why should she be ruled out as being the identity behind Marshmello? Someone tell me one good reason why Maria couldn’t be Marshmello. I can’t think of one.
The infamous 25th president of Boston College should not be excluded when thinking of possibilities for the man behind the plush white mask. Maybe this could be his last chance attempt to gain some likability points with the students, and maybe this is why I have literally never seen him walking around campus. If Father Leahy was indeed Marshmello, he would truly be an embodiment of “setting the world aflame” by dropping those fire beats heard in many of Marshmello’s remixes. Who said Jesuits can’t be cool?
That Kid Who Sits In Front Of You In Class
Since Marshmello is coming to our school, now is the time for all of us to be on high alert, and the identity of every one of your acquaintances and close friends should be questioned. The person behind this DJ could be that one kid that sits in front of you in class, always online shopping and browsing Reddit instead of taking notes. Why would you need to focus on your education Mon-Fri if you’re already making bank spinning disks and raging super hard Thurs-Sun?
Well, that’s about all the ideas I currently have for who could be behind the mask of Marshmello. I guess part of the magic surrounding his music is the mystery behind his persona. When you listen to his songs, you can picture anyone you want behind the mask, and I think this is pretty inspiring. Sometimes I even picture myself behind the mask, but then remember that I have no musical talent and also don’t own a turntable.
If anyone figures it out, could you let me know? I really want to ask if he’ll play an EDM remix of “Sweet Caroline” at the concert. I think some people with the name Caroline (definitely not me) would think that’d be pretty cool.