If your friend group is anything like mine, then bullying is a form of affection and sarcasm is given out like Christmas presents (or Hanukah, if you prefer). So for those friends that can’t catch a break, here’s what we’re all thinking but slightly afraid to say aloud:
- The Parking Garage Elevators beat Maloney every time
If you’re not taking the parking garage elevators, you’re walking to class wrong. Sure, Maloney may drop you in front of Gasson, but those O’Neill stairs are steeper than the stair climbers at the Plex, and you might as well have just taken the Million Dollar Stairs.
- El Pelon isn’t that good
Before you write me hate mail, hear me out. Break down a Pelon burrito for me: what makes it great? The rice is subpar, the salsa may be spicy but lacks flavor, and while I like a good enchilada, I enjoy not having to swim for it in green sauce. While it may be convenient, El Pelon is overhyped and the East Coast is willing to jump on the untapped market of “authentic” Mexican food. I will say this with on caveat though: probably one of the only places in Boston that sells horchata.
- Tailgate for the food
Drinking, getting tired, and going home to your 8-man in Walsh to sleep in your hole? No thank you. Eating pigs-in-a-blanket, Doritos, and cheeseburgers carefully grilled by BC alums and parents that have a tailgating spot even though their kids can’t make it? Yes, please. Having a food baby that didn’t derive from the milkshakes at Addie’s is always a dub. Change your tailgating style and start to double-fist spinach-artichoke dip and put down that Natty Light. Your stomach and liver will thank you, especially when it comes time to rally for the night.
- Catch me at Mac for lunch
I know there’s this unspoken fear that if you go back to Mac once you’ll probably catch a virus and turn into a freshman again, but trust me, it’s an urban legend. Dare to venture into this dining during lunch and you’ll find acai, lattice chips, buffalo chicken wraps, and the best pizza on campus (yes I’m @ing you lower personal pizzas). Someone please tell me where I’m supposed to find those anywhere else on campus. While it might be easy to think we’re past our Mac days, one can never grow too old for quality food; and if you think you’re above the great old McElroy Commons, more pitaya bowls for me.
Gasson may be the third most instagrammed collegiate building in the country, the Mods may look like cute dirty barns, and Stokes is shiny and new, but the backbone of this campus is Carney. How empty would Stokes Lawn look without this rectangular piece of pure beauty? It has grit and backbone, a weird numbering system for the rooms (always arrive early for office hours because of this, speaking from experience), and hallways lined with lockers that make you vaguely wonder if it used to be a high school even though you never had a locker in high school (just me?). It’s Gasson’s edgier cousin who listens to Green Day, has three tattoos, and participates in slam poetry. Take a moment to appreciate this hidden gem, because you never know when Father Leahy will try to take it out because he found out it’s prohibiting the growth of his grass.